It’s Complicated: The Realm of On & Off Relationships

Think Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams, Marilyn Manson and Evan Rachel Wood, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer – just few of celebrity pairs that have gotten on and off, breaking up, then getting back again, sometimes extending the cycle to the point where we are left guessing as to their future romantic plans. On and off relationships are not uncommon. A study by Dailey et al sought to provide a baseline description of on-off relationships and their differences with noncyclical relationships, or relationships that end and do not renew. Factors such as relational development and dissolution, reasons and initiators for dissolution of relationship were looked at. The study revealed the commonality of these kinds of relationships among the participants. Participants who have been in on and off relationships were less likely to report positive characteristics of the initial stages of their relationships. Then why go back to such a relationship if that is so? The researchers also noted that while most breakups were unilateral / non mutual, there was an even higher percentage of on-off relationships that were non mutual, compared to noncyclical relationships. It is possible that one partner would still be interested in instigating reconciliation. Noncyclical partners also reported greater use of mutual disintegration to end a relationship, whereas on-off partners often used methods that were more unclear, such as the “Let’s take a break” excuse. Such method may increase uncertainty whether the relationship is merely ‘on break’ or if it has been terminated.

Several recommendations include the need to address internal factors in the relationships, and the need for certainty,  for both partners to be explicit in their desires to continue or end a relationship.

Celebrity Couples Who Separate and Reunite

On-again/off-again dating relationships: How are they different from other dating relationships? Dailey et al (2009). Personal Relationships

Photo: “2004-12-02 – Light Switch – Messed. Up” by , c/o Flickr. Some Rights Reserved

Act your age: young people will like you more!

By Erica Zaiser

We live in a world afraid of getting older. Society constantly reminds us that aging is wrong and that a young look is the key to maintaining social status.  Plastic surgery has become increasingly common, especially among the rich and famous. Although, some celebrities have defied this trend by publicly saying no to attempts to look younger than they are. But, because status is so dependent on beauty and youth, many just assume that eventually the pressure for celebrity staying power will cause them to change their minds. The only way to be accepted by new young fans is to look their age, right?

Not according to recent research. Schoemann and Branscombe (2010) have found that both men and women who try to appear younger than their ages are evaluated more negatively by young people than those who comfortably portray the age they are. The authors argue that older people posing as younger threaten the social identities of young people. So, those celebrities constantly trying to look younger than they are, may in fact be losing more fans than those who have staunchly said no to surgery and yes to aging naturally and gracefully.

Read more: Looking young for your age: Perceptions of anti-aging actions

The Dangers of Thin Being In

One of the top stories this past week has been the model whose image was digitally altered to appear slimmer. The 5’10”, 120 pound model, Filippa Hamilton, was also fired by designer Ralph Lauren earlier this year for reportedly being “too fat”. She was shocked to see the retouched image, in which she looks to be emaciated with her waist appearing to be smaller than her head. While Ralph Lauren claimed the image was mistakenly released, Hamilton fears that the effect of the picture will have a lasting impact on women and their image of what a woman should look like.

Hamilton’s fears are legitimate and supported by a great deal of empirical data. In one study, Shorter and colleagues found that women who felt that their body-shape was discrepant from their favorite celebrity were more likely to report dysregulated and bulimic eating patterns. Moreover, Glauert et al. found that women who internalized a thin Western ideal reported being less satisfied by their body.

This relationship between celebrity ideals and body dissatisfaction is troubling given that many female celebrities and models are considered underweight. In an effort to create a more positive public image, as well as help protect the health of many models, some designers have started to use larger models. Last month, designer Mark Faust featured plus size models in his collection and Glamour magazine has pledged to feature more normal and plus sized models. By changing the standard for beauty, some hope to curb the unrealistic ideals held by many women.

New York Daily News. Model fired for being too fat.

London Fashion Week and Mark Faust

Shorter, Brown, Quinton, & Hinton (2008). Relationships between body-shape discrepancies with favored celebrities and disordered eating in young women.

Glauert, Rhodes, Byrne, Fink, & Grammer (2008). Body dissatisfaction and the effects of perceptual exposure on body norms and ideals.

Polanski and the Perpetuation of Rape Myths

Immediately after the arrest of Roman Polanski, an overwhelming and surprising movement of support for a man convicted of drugging and raping a 13 year old girl in 1977 came from Hollywood celebrities to political leaders. In return the media has certainly responded with a backlash of criticism towards those who seem to expect Polanski to be treated differently because of his status or have actually defended his crime as being less appalling than the hard facts have suggested. In addition to being a sufficiently disturbing example of how many people still believe that being famous provides a free-pass from moral standards, the entire case also serves as a sobering reminder that rape myths are still predominant in the world despite the large amount of discourse examining them.

Rape myth was a term coined in 1980 to describe the false beliefs that people have about rape, rapists, and rape victims. These can include beliefs that only certain types of women are raped or that rapists are usually aggressive, desperate males. Many of the public comments from Polanski’s high-profile defenders have only worked to perpetuate some of these long standing beliefs about rape. One common rape myth is that only strange, scary men rape. Polanski just doesn’t fit that stereotype. Many celebrities may see him as part of their group, and it’s hard to imagine someone in our group doing something which we commonly ascribe to occurring elsewhere and “not to us”. So his “friends” were left with having to find ways to make his actions seem less immoral. Meanwhile, our love of “The Pianist” makes us unable to cope with the inconsistancy of our affinity for a man who created something we like and detest for his deplorable actions.

Some argued in Polanski’s defence by derogating the victim. Many people reporting on the incident said that Polanski couldn’t have known she was only 13 because she acted more like an adult than a child. All these statement work to further the myth that only certain types of women (and thus, only “other” women) are raped. Rape myths reflect people’s just-world needs. We need to make sense of something terrible that happens so we fall back on our desire to believe that the world is ultimately just and thus, those who were raped must have deserved it. Given the incredible sway and press that celebrities receive, their support for rape myths is particularly frightening. Unfortunately, time and time again these myths have been shown to not only be untrue, they are dangerous. They place blame on rape-victims which can lead to fewer women reporting sexual crimes and, as the case of Polanski has shown, can lead to less support for justice.

Read More: Lonsway, K. A., Fitzgerald L. F. (1994). Rape myths: in review. Psychology of Women Quarterly. 18, 2, 133-164.